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“Slightly Lazy”

Carrying the duffel bag in front of me with the backpack behind, I turned onto Houston a block from my hotel.

Immediately, I hit the jackpot. “You know,” declared a man to his companion, “everywhere else in the world they pronounce is HUE-stahn.” She nodded appreciatively.

Scooting around this pair, I ended up in front of two men chatting about a dating prospect. Or a sex prospect. Some sort of prospect.

”She graduated in 2019, so still young enough,“ Guy 1 began.

”Yeah that’s reasonable,” Guy 2 supported him.

”She’s about to start at [random law firm name I don’t recall]. Is that any good?”

”Oh, okay, that’s like, ah, a really litigation focused firm. Like a lot of litigation. Like not good litigation.”

”Oh okay,” Guy 1 seemed nonplussed. “I’m not really sure if she’s right. I mean I’m in the prime you know -“

”Totally, totally! This is NOT the time to settle” Guy 2 was adamant on this point.

”So she’s almost perfect, but one of her eyes seems like it’s a little bit lazy sometimes. Just like, a little.”

”So, no.” Guy 2 saw no point in continuing.

”Well, but she’s super chill, and she’s from Manhattan so I wouldn’t -“

”So you wouldn’t have to deal with that whole thing down the line with going back to wherever.”

”Right, right. So, I don’t know. But I shouldn’t be settling. But she’s great, and she texts back even at like 3am.”

”Brah! Hahaha” Guy 2 was ready to move on as they turned into the next apartment building.

I walked on. I never saw their faces, but I could draw you a caricature and be 90% spot on. Maybe a bit off on one of the eyes.

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