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Day 4: Watery World

Hydrotherapy day!! I am up a bit early but nothing exciting, after walking in the fog for a bit and wondering if we’ll see land ever again, we have our usual breakfast in bed - copious coffee, some juice, toast and yogurt. This became an immediate habit.

At 9:30 we arrive for hydrotherapy, unsure what’s in store. The seas are being a little less gentle today, and just before we depart the cabin I wonder if I should stay back due to some small messages from my body that the swaying is not cool. I decide to push on.

The hydrotherapy place consists of a large indoor, saltwater pool with approximately a million jets, plus a small hot tub and three different saunas. There’s also an aggressively jetting footbath, that we try but do not enjoy.

First up is the pool, where we spend well over an hour luxuriating in the bubbles and pressure. Mom braves the saunas with me afterward, lasting approximately a full minute in the Finnish and steam saunas, before we retreat to the more-tolerable herbal sauna where we can remain for about five entire minutes! Exciting stuff, after which my mom retreats in the waffled white robe to a lounge chair, where the chairs around here are full of mostly passed out people, everyone in some level of bliss from the pool.

I climb back in for a bit more water time before joining mom, and we cruise back to our cabin for showers before a pretty sad lunch of more burgers and pizza. I feel especially queasy from the waves, so I hang back while mom goes to a lecture on Downton Abbey-era servants.

Dinner is a normal affair with some chatting with our Australian table mates, then we go to the Royal Theater for an offensive comedian’s performance. We were hesitant heading because the description said his content included addressing “the ‘joys’ of marriage,” which sounded suspiciously gross.

We were right.

45 minutes later we’ve sat through jokes describing all women as overreacting, having too many beauty products, never asking men questions directly, and having too many things in our purses. Then he proceeded to express his not-hilarious disdain for dating couples and for marriage in general, including the note that women tell everyone when they get engaged whereas men act like their friend has suffered a great tragedy when they eventually find out.

Okay, sure. So, that guy sucked.

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